Won't You Please Help Me?
The other night while relaxing in the living room and watching a documentary, my housemate (the one who recycles his underwear) sat down to join me. He had just finished making dinner and joined me in the living room to eat it. But soon, I could no longer concentrate on the program because he was eating. I suppose his mother never taught him to chew with his mouth closed because he smacks more than a Valley Girl with gum. I am not exaggerating. I have never encountered an adult that was more distracting to eat with. And it's not that I can see the food (I can't), it is the squelchy, gooey smacks he makes, as though he were eating something extremely sticky even though it's only rice and vegetables. I tried to ignore it, but he came back with seconds and thirds, and continued to feast loudly. I was compelled to leave the room, but that would have meant abandoning my program. And though I normally try to avoid such situations, there may be more of these inescapable situations. Therefore, it would be better to correct the problem. I wanted to point this out to him, but couldn't come up with a polite way to do so.
Any suggestions?
posted by Hannah @ 10:24 AM
7 comments
7 Comments:
um. get a tv in your own room?
pretty easy solution if you ask me...
What happens when he sits down at the table where I am eating? Do I need to get my own table, too?
And who are you anonymous?
well. there's 'personal space' and 'public space'.
if you're in public space, you just have to deal with it. it's not like he's being messy or inconsiderate or anything. he's just being himself, and there's nothing wrong with that. the fact that you don't like his eating habits isn't his problem, it's yours, and you have no place mentioning it to him.
you can eat in your room if it annoys you that much. i presume you have a desk or something.
and be choosier in terms of who you live with in the future.
Sometimes i chew with my mouth open without realising it, usually when i'm concentrating on something else, but i don't mind people reminding me to chew with my mouth closed. Maybe anonymous is your housemate.
If it happens frequently, I think it might help to tell him, even though it would be awkward. My impulse would be to phrase it in a mildly self-deprecating way (e.g., "I'm sorry this will sound like a weird request, but would you mind chewing a little more quietly? It sometimes makes it hard to watch the tv..."), but you should choose whatever tactic would make you most comfortable.
Wow, is this the same anonymous who gave Hannah such a hard time after she vented some complaints about a frustrating drive? Do you have something against her, or do you routinely go around criticizing people you don't know? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt in that perhaps you don't *intend* to sound offensive -- if that's the case, please consider your words more carefully to see what tone they suggest.
Hannah, I'm with Jenn -- in common space in a shared house, people need to work out a way to live together. I think that if you and he are watching TV while eating, you have reasonable grounds to ask him to eat more quietly -- you're trying to hear the TV. Presumably, if you were doing something that made it hard for him to hear the TV, he'd be justified in asking you to be quieter too.
I had a conversation about this with someone else who pointed out that I was being rather selfish in this, which I think I surfaced due to my desire to make a point. I didn't exaggerate, but I failed to mention the other side: that I care about him and would want him to be aware of his habits in public situations. And like Jeremy, I'd like to be reminded if I'm not chewing politely.
And I should note that this week the two of us went to watch one of our other housemates give a presentation for promotion to phd candidacy. He sat next to me and ate some of the fruit provided without disturbing me or the other people in the room. So maybe he is slightly aware of his eating habits and can chew quietly in public.
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